mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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