my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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