Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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