i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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