new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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