wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
