The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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