Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I understand Curling. That high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
