I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
