and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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