oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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