Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
