doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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