So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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