We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
