He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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