If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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