So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
