My brain says no but my pants say off.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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