im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
