if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
