I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Randomize
