So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
