one two three fourrrrnication!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think a kid would responsible me up
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
