I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
