this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
