I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I said "one day" and that day is not today
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize