How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
