Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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