I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
