Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!