Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Mom said you looked used
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.