Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
