yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
