I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
