No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
