i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
