I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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