writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
