no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
