I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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