If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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