I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
time to smoke my breakfast
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize