This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
