You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
