Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
