That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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