Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
