I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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