we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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