thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
