Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
