with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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