you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
