hell yes lets make some ravioli
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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