Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
