I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize